I'm not trying to be a matyr here but I am pretty tired at the moment. I know that my blogging has slowed to a minimal trickle and with one school day to go, it's just the effects of a very full on year taking its toll. For the first time, I actually felt envious and resentful towards those colleagues who seemed to have the time to go home and watch mindless television shows, who can afford to leave their laptops at school and who seem to gracefully swimming while I have felt like my head is barely above water.
There have been a few things that have made 2009 a challenge and I am coming away from those experiences as a better educator and hopefully, a better person. Even after over twenty years in this job, I am still figuring out what I can hope to influence in any given student's attitude and achievement, and that external factors like family and culture can be massive thick walls against which to bang one's head.
Part of the heightened stress has been taking on Year Sevens for the first time since 2004. I had forgotten how dramatic a transition adolescence is, how powerful peer group pressure can be, how self absorbed thirteen year olds can be and how resistant to change this particular age group can be. This burden has been shared by my teaching buddies (Kim and Maria) and when we look back over the year, it is with an interesting mix of accomplishment and frustration that we view our journey. Just this final term has seen preparation for our School Open Morning blend into the time sapping report writing ritual that ebbed into preparations for the Year Seven Graduations and trying to wrap the year up in a positive way.
I've been missing a lot of stuff lately - haven't noticed the Edublogs Awards at all, still to look at any of the posts from the K12 Online Conference and still to fulfil my obligations to Christian Long's Alice Project.
So, I'm feeling pretty washed out, in need of a break, some time family time and to rediscover some personal joy in my online connections. Maybe even some time to read that book I got for my birthday back in July.
One more day.